Category Archives: balance

In Limbo: Good or Bad?

Currently, I’m in life limbo. I’m mainly talking about my business life. Since I decided to be a part of my husband’s company and downsize my PR business, it’s been rewarding, shocking, stressful, freeing, exciting, challenging, and the list of adverbs go on and on. I finally completed my big task, to finish our SBA loan application and send it to our, hopefully, new business bank. This bank was the only bank, out of many, that will accept our non-traditional asset with our loan.

Up until last week, our bank relationship manager assured us of good news for the past 4 months. Of course, now that our application is in the hands of the underwriter, we received word that SBA loan guarantees have halted for now. Seriously? Can this country be anymore twisted? I’m not going to jump on the political bandwagon because that’s not why I’m writing this. I want to talk about being in the state of “in between” hence, the word I like to use – limbo.

The Merriam-Webster online dictionary’s definition of limbo is – 2 a: a place or state of restraint or confinement b: a place or state of neglect or oblivion <proposals kept in limbo> c: an intermediate or transitional place or state d: a state of uncertainty. This is exactly how I feel and how many others feel out there, so I’ve heard. It appears that being in limbo has a negative connotation but I feel that it can also reflect a positive one or at least I’d like to look at it from a positive perspective.

I’m taking advantage of my limbo time – writing more, cooking more, meditating more, walking more, practicing the piano, and brushing up on my Mandarin. All the things that I’ve grumbled, “I don’t have time for that,” I now do. I always equate having no time to eat, chaos, phones ringing off the hook, thousands of emails and money rolling in as a positive reflection of my life. I’m grateful when that happens but when times are down or in limbo, then what?

Why do I automatically assume its doom and gloom? Well it doesn’t have to be, it’s like that cliché “turn that frown upside down” you hate hearing it but if you change your frown to a smile, suddenly your mood shifts and you feel lighter. We’ve all heard and read about positive affirmations, law of attraction, living in the now, etc. etc. all these positive reinforcements are given/written to help us feel more comfortable in our own skin. It’s just that simple. Or as I like to say, “simple as a slice of cake.”

If you’re in a state of limbo like me, use this opportunity to explore, try something new, relax more, breathe more, de-clutter, paint your room, or maybe learn a new skill/trade. Whatever it is, remember it’s a good thing!

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Warning: Your Balance Maybe Robbing You of Wearing Your High Heels

I was staring in my closet today deciding what shoe to wear. Let’s rule out the comfort factor for now, just play along. What shoe reflects my inner balance level today? Could I pull of my 4-inch gunmetal, metallic Gucci stiletto? Am I feeling that balanced? Hmm…maybe not. I might fall or twist my ankle and that would be bad. How about my Christian Dior 3-inch black wedge, knee-high suede boots? Still not feeling balanced enough to strut those. What about a kitten heel? That’s low enough. Nah. Okay, what shoe, what shoe? Trust me the lack of shoes isn’t the issue. Ah, my Tory Burch ballet flats. Ballet flats always make me feel level and grounded when I’m not feeling enough balance in my day.

Balancing your day, let alone your life is tricky especially if you’re a woman in today’s world. I’m not writing anything new that we haven’t read or heard already. It’s a reminder that we (women) share the same challenges and feelings.

As a wife, daughter, sister, aunt, business owner, charity fundraiser and whatever else I have on my plate – balancing all these roles can be overwhelming. I enjoy every role and don’t want to subtract any from my list. I believe as women we don’t have to, we just need to choose what roles are a priority for the day (I’m stressing ‘for the day’) so that we can enjoy more balance throughout our lives. With more balance, come efficiency, productivity, a genuine (not forced) smile, some laughter and patience throughout the day. People seem to like me more when I’m balanced, especially my husband and my face thanks me for not adding more wrinkles to it.

Because I’m a professional multi-tasker, as many of us are, this talent can divert me from implementing the practice I just described. So for me, I create a short list for the day. A friend emailed me a form where you fill in your Top Six priorities of the day. This has been extremely helpful in focusing. Of course, things can come up throughout the day that might detour me from my list, but I have a choice to say “yes” or “no”. Okay, okay…yes, at times there might be a no-choice situation that occurs but this is rare and everything usually works out.

If you’re going to create a Top Six list for the day, please don’t forget to include eating as one of the items. Come on ladies, I know we forget to do this frequently because we “don’t have time.” I’m a culprit of the “don’t have time” method. Your list should also have at least one fun/healthy activity that brings a smile to your face – this helps synergize balance, serenity, and patience. It can be something small like getting a frozen yogurt or walking around the block to doing yoga, getting a mani-pedi, walking your dog, watching one of your fav reality shows or having sex. I know what you’re thinking, “I don’t have the time.”

This is where testing your balance skills really come into action. Instead of “I don’t have the time” let’s rephrase to “I’ll make the time.” Why do we short change ourselves constantly and never make the time to balance ourselves on a daily basis? Here’s why: 1) We want it all; 2) We think we can do it all in one day; 3) We feel guilty if we don’t try to do it all in one day; 4) We feel like nobody else can do it. Sound familiar? All of these are valid reasons but might drive us to a nervous breakdown, a serious drinking problem or an early grave.

I believe we can do it and have it all, just not all in one day or two days, or one week. We need to be realistic with our time. I am not perfect by any means but at least I practice balance on a daily basis and if I slip, there’s always tomorrow to start fresh. Another reminder, don’t beat yourself up for not completing everything in one day. This is a trait I have to work hard at. This causes a whole other topic I could write about but not today, it’s not on my Top Six list.

As I’m coming to a close with my story, checking this off my to do list, I notice that I’ve completed my Top Six for the day – eating, getting fresh air (yes, I have to put this on my list), working, catching up on my recorded shows, and writing this story. Wow, funny thing just happened, I suddenly feel more balanced. I think I’ll be sporting the Christian Dior 3-inch knee-high, wedge boots for the rest of my day.

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