If you want to be slapped in the face of all your personal character defects and bad behaviors, get married. Marriage is a great teacher of your character if you’re open to looking at yourself. It’s definitely rewarding and challenging. Sometimes it seems like a game of tug-of-war or who will throw in the towel first? My idea of marriage is somewhat traditional with a modern twist. I believe in loving, sharing, supporting one another through good and bad, being a true partner and friend in life. Sounds good right? Practicing these principles and a slew of others can be tricky especially if your other half isn’t a clone of yourself.
Marriage is compromise, acceptance and patience to the infinitum. Trying to have a healthy argument and come to a resolution with your husband can be a difficult process. Recently my husband has been traveling a lot for work, so when he’s home I want us to be happy without arguments. That’s not realistic. We are still two very different people living under the same roof and those annoyances each of us has, haven’t gone away. Even though we both work on acceptance and compromise, our quirks we like and dislike about each other still rub us the wrong way given on our mood level for the day.
This is where the tennis match of “he said, she said” comes into play. Time to break out the tennis shoes and rally. My husband and I rallied a week ago when I approached him calmly with a resentment I had towards him. I was hoping for an adult conversation but it turned into a match. After we both used words in place of a tennis ball to rally back and forth with, we ended the game – he went upstairs and I stayed downstairs.
A good 20 minutes passed, and I really didn’t want to be in a fight with him. These days we have too little time with each other to be arguing. I went upstairs to find him. He was lying on our bed watching television. We looked at each other, smiled and started laughing. We gave each other a big hug and declared truce.
Quite frankly, I don’t remember what we were arguing about. It always seems like the littlest things trigger explosions. If you can learn to play a healthy match of “he said, she said” maybe your marriage and mine has lasting power. It takes awhile to learn the rules and how to play the game with your loved one. Sometimes the rules/game might change but if you can play fairly, then I’ll break out my tennis shoes anytime.