Shoe Reminder: Who Am I?

Posted on May 18, 2010 by mrsloschrohloff| 4 Comments

As I start to write this new entry, I realize that I’m procrastinating. I do have a small work project that needs to be finished in a few hours but I’m feeling inspired to share some thoughts that popped into my mind.

My blog came to life because I was taking a break from work, for the first time in many years, and allowing myself to have the freedom and stillness to tap into more of who I am today. I discovered that I’m a woman who is extremely creative with a twist of humor (I forgot along the way). I also forgot how much I love technology (gadgets, widgets, apps, etc). When I’m in my true element, I’m the happiest. I knew that I would eventually start working again so how could I turn what I love into something profitable?

My vision wasn’t clear up until a month ago. When it happened, it was an instant gut feeling. I knew what I wanted and needed to do for myself. I listened to my instincts. It’s as if I was on autopilot and someone else was driving me. Now I’m at the birth of a new business that makes me smile from the inside out.

Everything that I’ve done in my life thus far, are all pieces to building who I am and what I’m doing today. It’s amazing that nothing has gone to waste even though at times I felt that I had failed at a few things. It’s like our first shoe and our first steps when we’re babies. The shoes are soft, flat and comfortable because it helps us ease into our first steps, making our first strut down the hallway feasible.

As we grow up, our shoes, I believe, tend to reflect our personality because of the style – conservative, flashy, sporty, elegant, etc. You get the picture? I believe a woman’s shoe can tell the story of who she is or what she’s about. Did I forget to defer to my shoes as a reminder that I’m an expressive and creative individual? I guess so. I was on a hibernation holiday for about five months explaining why I needn’t wear a fine pair of heels. All I’ve been wearing are my black patent leather ballet flats, Havaianas flip flops or slippers (around the house, not in public…please!).

Finding my spirit and passion again while taking this deserved time off has inspired and awakened me. So much so, that I broke out my crystal and gemstone Giuseppe Zanotti sandals (I have several different styles). As I slipped my sandals on to run a few errands the other day, I looked down at my jeweled feet and thought, “Wow, I forgot who I was for awhile…this is me…I love who I am!”  Definitely an “Ah ha” moment that I’m embracing and remembering to wear everyday with a pair of my shoes.

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A Tennis Match of He Said, She Said

Posted on March 23, 2010 by mrsloschrohloff| 4 Comments

If you want to be slapped in the face of all your personal character defects and bad behaviors, get married. Marriage is a great teacher of your character if you’re open to looking at yourself. It’s definitely rewarding and challenging. Sometimes it seems like a game of tug-of-war or who will throw in the towel first? My idea of marriage is somewhat traditional with a modern twist. I believe in loving, sharing, supporting one another through good and bad, being a true partner and friend in life. Sounds good right? Practicing these principles and a slew of others can be tricky especially if your other half isn’t a clone of yourself.

Marriage is compromise, acceptance and patience to the infinitum. Trying to have a healthy argument and come to a resolution with your husband can be a difficult process. Recently my husband has been traveling a lot for work, so when he’s home I want us to be happy without arguments. That’s not realistic. We are still two very different people living under the same roof and those annoyances each of us has, haven’t gone away. Even though we both work on acceptance and compromise, our quirks we like and dislike about each other still rub us the wrong way given on our mood level for the day.

This is where the tennis match of “he said, she said” comes into play. Time to break out the tennis shoes and rally. My husband and I rallied a week ago when I approached him calmly with a resentment I had towards him. I was hoping for an adult conversation but it turned into a match. After we both used words in place of a tennis ball to rally back and forth with, we ended the game – he went upstairs and I stayed downstairs.

A good 20 minutes passed, and I really didn’t want to be in a fight with him. These days we have too little time with each other to be arguing. I went upstairs to find him. He was lying on our bed watching television. We looked at each other, smiled and started laughing. We gave each other a big hug and declared truce.

Quite frankly, I don’t remember what we were arguing about. It always seems like the littlest things trigger explosions. If you can learn to play a healthy match of “he said, she said” maybe your marriage and mine has lasting power. It takes awhile to learn the rules and how to play the game with your loved one. Sometimes the rules/game might change but if you can play fairly, then I’ll break out my tennis shoes anytime.

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In Limbo: Good or Bad?

Posted on March 5, 2010 by mrsloschrohloff| 1 Comment

Currently, I’m in life limbo. I’m mainly talking about my business life. Since I decided to be a part of my husband’s company and downsize my PR business, it’s been rewarding, shocking, stressful, freeing, exciting, challenging, and the list of adverbs go on and on. I finally completed my big task, to finish our SBA loan application and send it to our, hopefully, new business bank. This bank was the only bank, out of many, that will accept our non-traditional asset with our loan.

Up until last week, our bank relationship manager assured us of good news for the past 4 months. Of course, now that our application is in the hands of the underwriter, we received word that SBA loan guarantees have halted for now. Seriously? Can this country be anymore twisted? I’m not going to jump on the political bandwagon because that’s not why I’m writing this. I want to talk about being in the state of “in between” hence, the word I like to use – limbo.

The Merriam-Webster online dictionary’s definition of limbo is – 2 a: a place or state of restraint or confinement b: a place or state of neglect or oblivion <proposals kept in limbo> c: an intermediate or transitional place or state d: a state of uncertainty. This is exactly how I feel and how many others feel out there, so I’ve heard. It appears that being in limbo has a negative connotation but I feel that it can also reflect a positive one or at least I’d like to look at it from a positive perspective.

I’m taking advantage of my limbo time – writing more, cooking more, meditating more, walking more, practicing the piano, and brushing up on my Mandarin. All the things that I’ve grumbled, “I don’t have time for that,” I now do. I always equate having no time to eat, chaos, phones ringing off the hook, thousands of emails and money rolling in as a positive reflection of my life. I’m grateful when that happens but when times are down or in limbo, then what?

Why do I automatically assume its doom and gloom? Well it doesn’t have to be, it’s like that cliché “turn that frown upside down” you hate hearing it but if you change your frown to a smile, suddenly your mood shifts and you feel lighter. We’ve all heard and read about positive affirmations, law of attraction, living in the now, etc. etc. all these positive reinforcements are given/written to help us feel more comfortable in our own skin. It’s just that simple. Or as I like to say, “simple as a slice of cake.”

If you’re in a state of limbo like me, use this opportunity to explore, try something new, relax more, breathe more, de-clutter, paint your room, or maybe learn a new skill/trade. Whatever it is, remember it’s a good thing!

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If the Shoe Fits, Borrow it?

Posted on February 24, 2010 by mrsloschrohloff| 3 Comments

I’ve come across an unusual occurrence that seems to be plaguing many people – lack of etiquette and manners. Young adults are big etiquette offenders but I’m finding that people in their 40’s and 50’s lack manners as well. I don’t know what to make of it. I usually don’t make anything of it. I might silently wish karma to bite them in the ass or simply sit in silent scorn. Is lack of etiquette due to people having too much on their plate? Bad upbringing? A.D.D.? Entitlement issues? Narcissism? Alzheimer’s? Or are they just oblivious? I’m both appalled and bewildered.

I have a closet filled with many fashionable pieces – blouses, skirts, dresses, scarves, jewelry, shoes, you name it. And if you’re a girlfriend of mine who happens to wear the same size then you’ve probably borrowed some items from my closet. I love sharing. I love that my same size girlfriends get as much joy out of wearing a dress or top of mine as I do.

Especially during this undesirable economic climate, women seem to be sharing more than ever and shopping in their closets or better yet, their girlfriends closets. There are rules to borrowing a friend’s personal items. If you wear it, clean it before you return it. Return the item in a timely manner or ask how long you can keep the item(s). Not hard, very simple, right? I’ve come across a few women that don’t play by the same etiquette rules as I do.

I still have an ex-friend who has a necklace that she borrowed and hasn’t given back. After she borrowed this necklace, she said she attempted to give it back to me but kept forgetting. Then I asked her to stop by my place after work one day to drop it off. I happen to be sick that day and was konked out upstairs and didn’t hear the door or my phone. That was my bad.

I called and apologized for not hearing her and said I’ll try to figure out another time. But shouldn’t she be the one trying to do that? She’s the one that borrowed the necklace, not me. Why am I the one apologizing and being so nice when she’s hijacked my necklace that I’ve wanted to wear? Does she think that I have many necklaces that I’ll forget or don’t need it? Or does she feel a sense of entitlement? If the shoe were on the other foot, I would’ve popped it in the mail and be done with it. It’s not diamonds but it is a nice costume piece that wasn’t cheap.

Another lack of borrowing etiquette I’ve faced is not returning my clothing cleaned. It seems that I have to ask or remind some friends to clean my items before they return them. I always receive this perplexed look on their faces as if I’m asking them to clean my cat’s litter box or do my grocery shopping. It’s the oddest reaction and I end up feeling bad about asking them. Like I’m the bad guy, lending them my nice tops and dresses so they don’t have to spend money to buy new clothes to wear. I know! It’s true. Some women don’t have the common decency chip imbedded inside of them.

One last rule of etiquette in borrowing friends clothing, shoes or jewelry – return it promptly. As the lender, I am the one calling and hunting down my garments. Why should I have to do this? I shouldn’t. When my pieces are finally returned, I’m the one thanking them instead of the other way around. Thanking my friend for returning something she borrowed from me three weeks or two months ago.

Ladies, if your shoes fit, keep them on your feet or in your closet. Don’t let your friends borrow anything unless they know the proper borrowing protocol. If I do lend anything to a friend, I now tell her I would like to have the item back by a certain date and in the condition it was borrowed. As for my necklace held hostage, I finally have enough resentment built up to send a self-addressed, stamped envelope with a note stating to send my necklace back in the envelope provided. We’ll see what happens.

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For the Love of Shoes & Men

Posted on February 10, 2010 by mrsloschrohloff| 6 Comments

I heart shoes…buying shoes, wearing shoes, looking at shoes in magazines and store windows, trying on shoes, and even holding a shoe in my hand. Did I mention that I love shoes? But can shoes take place of a man? Can a pair of shoes love me back? Cuddle with me in bed? Make love to me? Laugh with me? Tell me how beautiful I am? I guess not.

Shoes can make me happy for a few hours in my day. In the case of shoes vs. men, shoes don’t argue, never seem disappointed in me, hog the television, snore during sleep, leave crumbs all over the house and need to be reminded of everything constantly.

On the flipside, shoes can be unpredictable like men. Sometimes they seem to fit perfectly in the store upon purchase but when you wear them out for the night, they end up hurting you. Perhaps you had your “shoe goggles” on when you first spotted them, later realizing they weren’t authentic (i.e., made from real snakeskin, etc.).  After closer examination you found they were imitations, imposters – they lied to you just to get on your feet.

Now in the case of men vs. shoes, men offer quite a bit, contrary to belief. They offer friendship, love, intimacy, kisses when you’re feeling down, warm snuggles in bed, laughter, sadness, sharing experiences together and reminding one another of why we get up each morning and do it all over again. It’s a bond, connectivity, a relationship that shoes cannot provide unfortunately.

I’m not one for being a romantic and making a big deal about Valentine’s Day but this Valentine’s I’m feeling vulnerable, amorous and fond for my husband. This is not my normal state of being but since my husband has been away for work for almost two months straight, I’m definitely missing him and feeling his absence. I’ve looked to my shoe closet to lift my spirits but nothing. Nothing? Even taking a pair of Louboutins out and seeing the red soles didn’t perk me up. Wow, I am truly in love.

After being married for a couple of years, I’ve internally debated the question, “Why did I get married?” I didn’t need the security and having a family was a toss up. I’m a modern woman with a few old-fashioned values and traditions, hence marriage. The number one reason…I do love my husband. Getting married for me was the grand gesture on our devotion to sharing a life together. My husband was opposed to marriage at first. He had “George Cloonism” the perpetual bachelor, a playboy at age 40.

He knew where I stood about marriage and tried to convince me to live together first but I’ve been down that road. Being in my mid-30’s I didn’t need to pull a geographic to ensure I wanted to marry my boyfriend. After 1½ years of dating and 2 months of turmoil, I finally presented my then-boyfriend-now-husband with this, “Baby, I love you very much and want to share a life with you. I want to move forward and get married. If you aren’t ready for this step I understand. I want you to take a week to think about this and let me know where you stand. If you decide marriage isn’t for you, then I’ll need to know and start opening my door to other opportunities.”

One week went by and we commenced. He said, “Well, I don’t want to lose you. Are you sure we can’t live together first?” I said, “Sorry…no.” Then he said, “Okay, let’s do it but what do I do exactly? I’ve never done this before.” I told him to ask me to marry him sometime within the month, it doesn’t have to be a big production and don’t worry about the ring (I wanted to pick it out eventually). A few weeks went by and in the middle of his kitchen he proposed, “Will you do me the honor of being my wife?” It was perfect. He was sweet, genuine, nervous and silly. Just the way I hoped him to be. This feeling and memory I will cherish as long as I live and sadly, no pair of shoes can do the same. Happy Valentine’s Day baby, I miss you and I love you.

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